I am an open-minded person. I respect people’s feelings and views, their religion and sexual-orientation, but I also think that people now are, shall we say, sensitive to certain things. However, there is one thing that drives me nuts…
Mother’s Day.
Or more specifically, when people automatically assume that I am going to be celebrating Mother’s Day. (And no, it is not because I am a JW.)
You see, my mom died five years ago, May 4th (so despite my love for Star Wars, the whole ‘May the fourth be with you’ bit, doesn’t really amuse me). May 4th, is generally between six and eight days before Mother’s Day. So the beginning of May is usually really shitty for me (although I do have a great group of people that help me around this time).
The first Mother’s Day without mommy* sucked ass, but I can’t remember anything other than that. I am pretty sure I went out with my sister and her kids, but I really don’t know. The next two years, it was basically the same, I would spend the day with either Brandie and her kids, Hannah and Andrew, or Marlena and her son, Shawn (Or it would be all of us, with Amber and Monique.)
But it was the last two years, that really blew. You see, I worked in customer service, as a cashier; and I was great at my job (I’m not just saying that, customers still ask about me, and I have been gone 6 months), positive and always smiling, despite cursing out each person on the inside.
I would always work Sunday shifts, since it let me have Saturday and usually Friday for myself. However this meant I always worked Mother’s Day.
I would spend my day wrapping flowers for husbands and sons, and selling chocolate to daughters. This didn’t bug me though, no, it was the question that everyone would ask me, that really pissed me off:
“So what are you doing for your mom when you get home?”
*Cricket… cricket…*
Do you have any idea how annoying it is to be asked that? At least ten times a shift? And usually the week leading up to it too, which was great.
As I mentioned in my first post. I am a fairly open person, I don’t lie when I am questioned about my mom in anyway. So I tell the truth.
“Well, my mom passed away three/four years ago” (It’s been five now).
Then comes the inevitable, “Oh I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to bring up that.”
No, customer, I am well aware that you didn’t mean too, because obviously you didn’t know that my mom committed suicide, but hey. It got brought up anyway and now we are in this weird, awkward loop until you pay and leave. Not to mention when the customer behind them hears, and then they are all sympathetic.
News Flash: I hate sympathy.
My mom committed suicide in a way that my entire school knew about it come Monday (it happened on a Saturday), and all of the sudden I went from being this girl who was picked on, to this girl who never got picked on again because they all pitied me. A girl who I had called a bitch, and who thought I was horrible, suddenly was really sweet to me (her and I do occasionally talk now, and don’t actually hate each other).
I got sympathy from people I had never even talked to, and all I wanted was to be with my friends and mourn my mommy without being bombarded by people that didn’t really care.
“I’m so sorry.” God those words are meaningless to me.
What are you sorry for? You didn’t kill my mom, she did, so piss off.
Even now, I get angry when people say that they are sorry. If they say ‘condolences’ it doesn’t bug me, but ‘I’m so sorry’ makes me want to scream.
So yeah, imagine how annoying it would be to hear that from every customer who realised that they fucked up by asking what I was doing for Mother’s Day.
It’s gotten better now I suppose, it’s still a hard day for me but I actually will go out with my biological mom and sisters (having tea with them this afternoon), and I wish momma (Taylor’s mom and my mom’s best friend; essentially my other mom) and Colin’s mom a Happy Mother’s Day. It might be because I am not working on Mother’s Day this year that is isn’t so horrible, I’m not sure.
But regardless, if someone is going to ask me today what I am doing for my mom when I get home, I will tell them what i always do:
My mom passed away five years ago, I’m actually going on a date with my boyfriend later tonight.
And they will inevitably relpy with:
I’m so sorry to hear that.
Notes
*My immediate family is massive, so I will be writing out a key of sorts for all the people that I will usually talk about.
Finn's Corner 